The “Siblings” of the “Spectrum”…

 

My heart was torn in two complete pieces…and both pieces were crushed as I heard the conversation between my two little boys.  My oldest, age 8 at the time, and my youngest was 6.  My 8 year old son was on the autism spectrum…while my 6 year old son is not.

 

We were at the playground and here is how the conversation went…

 

“You ruin everything!” my youngest choked out with frustrated tears streaming down his flushed cheeks, “I was making a friend…!”  “Why, why, why...” he sobbed as he threw himself into my arms so I could comfort him, and help somehow…someway… Helplessly, I held him, as I gazed with pity and heart-wrenching pain at my other son who was completely confused as to why and how he had hurt his little brother.

 

Being on the autism spectrum, my older son had several “stims”, and as had happened many, many times before…these stims, or what typical children consider unusual and repelling behavior, manifested themselves at the playground this day, and had chased off a budding friendship that my other son was cultivating.

 

I felt devastated, and deplete of any answers for either one of my children.  My heart bled and grieved deeply for both of my little boys.  The pain and frustration of my youngest combined with the pain and frustration of my older son who couldn’t understand and yet knew that somehow he had done something wrong.  The situation was overwhelmingly sad and every fiber of my being cried in futile anguish.

 

Twenty minutes later, however, the sun rose again!  There was laughter, smiles, and complete forgiveness from my youngest…the “sibling of the spectrum”.  As I watched, my two boys play the game that my oldest chose, as was the custom…my heart was mended.  Tears still streamed down my face, but their source was from a tremendous degree of admiration for my little boy…my little “sibling of the spectrum”.

 

“Long-suffering” and “Truly Kind” were the words that describe my son. He was so very, very strong of character, integrity and loyalty.  I was in awe of his resilience.  I wanted to erect a statue in his honor right there on the playground…there for all to see the little hero, that played alongside his brother…loving him more than himself.  This unselfish love…he seemed to have in abundance, and I cherished his little heart.

 

The “siblings of the spectrum” carry a heavy load, and yet their horizon and broadness of empathy is grand!  Their level of understanding and patience is “off the charts”, and many, many times…they forgo their own wants and desires by putting their brother or sister ahead of themselves.  They quietly busy themselves while their parents more often than not; have to give their sibling more required attention.  They swallow embarrassment, and most times, pretend to ignore it…their honor is unsurpassed!

 

They are the “Siblings of the Spectrum”…and…should be revered as grand pillars of stability in the “Autism Family”.  They are the quiet and humble hero’s that hardly ever get recognized for the calamities and disasters that they can overcome daily.

 

I wiped my tears from my eyes…walked over to my little one…my little “sibling of the spectrum”, kissed him on the forehead, and looking into his beautiful and kind little eyes that now laughed instead of cried, I said, “Thank you…”, and I meant so very much more…

 

By:  Kimberly Larochelle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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