Being a Father is a Gift
It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. Pope John XXIII
Before I go into my little story you need a little background about my family so that you might understand. I have 3 boys and a wonderful wife. Our family we have autism at different degrees. My oldest son is high functioning and my youngest is high functioning, and my wife to is also high functioning.
If you met them on the street you might not notice the social anxiety going on inside as you talk to them. The diversion of the eyes, the pulling away, to an NT mind you would think they want nothing to do with you. This is not the case. Like all humans, they just want to be accepted and loved like everyone else but the way that their brains are wired, this is a hard thing to do, in a NT way. NT mean Neuro typical. The term always makes me laugh as I have yet to meet someone that was typical yet.
My Middle son his autism shows. He is what I have been told is non-verbal autism. To say the least he can be a great challenge at times. With safety concerns and trying to improve his skills so that he might one day, be able to live on his own. Without some form of communication this would be a very lonely world. Without communication some people treat you like they would a couch or other object they might own. Communication is more important than we might realize. And another part of my son's condition is he has no fear, or understanding about a lot of the dangers of life. This has caused us all great terror at times. But onto the most important part of the story.
After another restless sleep night I headed over to the hardware store on my lunch break. Being pay day I was able to afford more of the window guards we require to keep my middle son safe. As I was walking to the checkout with my purchase a fine young man walked right into me, because he wasn't paying attention.
His father was right there, and apologized for his sons inattentiveness. I explained it was perfectly all right, and the father said no it isn't and started to yell at his son. I said no really it is such a small thing, at least you don't have to buy window guards to keep your son in so he will be safe at night. Be thankful for that. I felt horrible for saying that and maybe feeling a little sorry for myself. But I was soon to get mine.
As I loaded the guards into my van, I noticed a truck parked next to me. In the window it said
In loving memory John ******, 2003-2007 my beloved son.
Then I heard in my own mind "Window guards are such a small thing be thankful for that."
No matter the challenges our children may set in front of us. Being a father is a gift. By the mere fact that our children are alive and safe, are your greatest gift for being a dad. It is all such small things be thankful for that.
You can visit me at http://www.autismideas.com
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